Dear Ones… Grief is no stranger during the holidays. While the emphasis is on joy, this is a time of year when many of us remember and measure against past memories.

We think about times we’ve spent with loved ones who are no longer here. We compare the traditions that have long been an ingredient to the glue of family structure to the circumstances of the present.

Illness, death, aging…these things that make most of us recoil in protest – they don’t go away just because of the date on the calendar. In fact, they can feel – can be – even more pronounced. More prominent because we are trying our best to push them away. “If I can just recapture that moment 21 years ago when the holidays were perfect. When my little ones were filled with the magic of the season and believed anything was possible.” Ahhhh…that would be bliss.

Our inner world has taken on a battle. We are fighting the good fight between what is and what was. Except. It’s not such a good fight. In fact, it’s destructive. And quite pointless.

This season of Light has been knocking me down this year as it shines its brilliance on some of the darker aspects of my inner self.

Yes, the energies are Intense (capital “I”) for all of us. Winter Solstice for those of us north of the equator, full moon approaching, Mercury Retrograde and God knows what else…my angels whisper, “Ohhhh yes, there is more at play here.” Sigh.

All that aside, I have simply not been feeling the joy that I ordinarily do.

My 94yo Dad went into a rehab/nursing home two weeks ago, my 95yo stepfather took a nasty fall last week and my mother’s dementia continues to progress. Up until a few months ago, she was like a little girl – playful and sweet to be with. Now…she’s emotionally and mentally gone. She recognizes me, but that’s about it. Conversation on any level is impossible. I brought her an early Christmas present last weekend and she didn’t know how to open it. It’s like an emotional root canal on my heart.

My beautiful children are home for the holidays. At 25 and 22 with full lives and loving partners of their own, their time with us is precious.

And yet this grief I have been dancing with – rooted in my resistance to what’s happening with my parents coupled with my newly emptied nest – has created a cloud around me. When I’m hanging with my children or friends, it’s like I’m here. But I’m not really.

I pray, I meditate and I do my best to take care of myself, but there are days that grief wins the story.

Thankfully I have felt the strength of my angels presence. They guided me recently to this passage from the current edition of the Science of Mind magazine…

“Rather than seeing it as an emotion to be resisted, could you let grief teach you? Let it show you where you may be in resistance and where you are in the flow.”

So I have decided to stop fighting the grief and honor it as my guide.

I say to grief, “Be my teacher! Show me where I am in need of healing. I will not allow you to drag me through the glory of each day, but rather lead me on this spiritual path. I pledge to learn as much as I can from you…and then move on. And so it is.”

Dear earth angels, whether you are full up to busting with joy this season, tinged with sadness or darn right gloomy, I encourage you to welcome the emotions and let them teach you. Do not resist, but rather learn. For there is beauty in all things.

Remember, to heal means to bring back to wholeness.

As you are able…have yourself a Merry Little Christmas.

Your angels are always with you!

Until next time…

With love,
Rev. Elvia