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Sneaky Ego Trick #4…It’s gotta be me

Do others tend to lean on you, dear earth angel? Are you a key part of the support system for the loved ones in your life?

As natural born healers, most Lightworkers are always there to help. Giving comes as easily as eating apple pie on the fourth of July. So often with no thought to caring for oneself. 

Giving feels good…oh so good… until we reach burnout.

Sneaky Ego Trick #4 – it’s my personal responsibility to keep things together for everyone in my life. No one else is going to do it – at least not very well – so it’s gotta be me.

Does that sound like something you might think? (If not, is there someone in your life who falls into this story?)


I write this message from a deeply personal place.

You may be aware that my parents are elderly and I spend much of my time caring for them. I also have two adult children who have recently left the nest (my husband would argue that they have one wing still in the nest!) And, of course, I have lots of beloved earth angels I minister to on a daily basis.

Sometimes I get fried.

Sometimes I just want to lie on the couch, cat in my lap and watch Scandal, Downton Abbey or some such cotton-candy-for-the-brain.

This has happened a few times recently.

One part of me – my ego – was arguing that “I can’t control the fact that my mother’s been sick and my father may need to move to a nursing home soon. It’s not my creation that our daughter was in the ER the other night and that our son mailed his rent check without a stamp. I should just be able to support them and carry on. I’m evolved, after all.”

This mindset only made me want to pile on another blanket (or cat). It also made me reconsider what was happening.

There’s a cycle…I support everyone I love 24/7…I get burned out…I crash…I recover…I support everyone I love…and on…

Something had to change. I could see it with greater perspective.

It was my brilliant husband Peter who said, “You have to see them all supported by God and the angels, not you. Visualize our family members as having the same, strong connection with Source that you do.




I could go down the path of “Why didn’t I see that sooner?” But that would be a waste of energy.

The ego can easily get us tangled up into a mess of feelings and a sense of obligation – especially with those we’re closest to.

It doesn’t mean I won’t answer the phone when my daughter calls for counsel, advocate for my mother or put a stamp on that envelope and stick in the mail.

Spiritual guidance means following the wisdom of the angels. It means being involved when they advise me to and only to the extent they recommend.

The support system for our loved ones spans way beyond us, one person. They have the entire universe conspiring in their favor.

I remember when our daughter was just 14 and returning alone from Fukuoka, Japan. She had a stop in Osaka to change planes. In her haste, she lost her ticket home. Understandably, she panicked and went up to the checkin counter at the gate.

A gentleman came forward and handed her the boarding pass she’d lost. He showed up out of nowhere, never to be seen again. She thought he may have been from another dimension. (She believes in aliens.) I wonder if he was an angel.

I realized one thing that day…there is a force that goes way beyond little-old-me that cares for my children.

There is a force that goes way beyond each of us that cares for our loved ones. We indeed have nothing to worry about.

Our angels are working 24/7. We just have to see it that way.


I pray this helps you to disconnect from Sneaky Ego Trick #4. 🙂

Dear angels,

Thank you for guiding and caring for the loved ones in my life.

I trust that any action I need to take will be clear and obvious.

I understand that when I get involved against my guidance, I am working against the divine plan.

I surrender to the divine plan.

I trust that all is in order and that we are truly blessed.

And so it is…


Until next time…

With love,

Rev. Elvia

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